Hi, i am here to blog again. This is the only thing i can talk to so thats why i am updating a thousand times a day in hope that marcus will see it. Its really very funny how whenever me and marcus break up and pple will start adding me in my MSN and pple that i`ve never talked to will come talking to me, some asking pervertic qns. Hais.. Im feeling so dizzy now and my vision is blurred. I also dont know why its like that. Maybe is bcos i just woke up or wad. I think my body is gonna spoil soon. My voice is going away, my vision is blurred, my body is aching like fuck, my mouth is infested with ulcers and my nose keeps bleeding not from one nostril but both.

Hais, every now and den, when my phone vibrates, i wish deep down in my heart that it would be marcus. Even this morning when i went to school, i took my HP out, wanting to msg him to tell him that i`ve woken up already but i suddenly remembered we aint tgt anymore. Even after school, i wanted to give him a call and tell him that i`ve finished school but again, i remembered what happened. Hais.. it has already formed this habit in me, a habit i have developed while i was with him. Hais.. I have been msging him since i was 15 years old, and now im gonna be 17 already. Thats how long we were tgt, i cannot believe that he could just break my heart like this. The first time we broke, he still msged me every now and den and asked me to take care and all, but now? Not even a msg of concern. Is he really so heartless to see me like this? I know how he is treating me so harshly now is bcos he wants me to hate him and to forget him, but its useless bcos i believe that he still loves me deep down. I believe in the fact that one day, he will come to see how much i love him. I really dont understand how he can go on like normal while he knows that there is someone out there suffering for him. Hais...

I wonder, if one day, if i get hit by a car and get sent to hospital, how would he react? Would he come to visit me? Would he feel worried. sad? I really dont know. I even saved 2 small pkts of fruit nuggets so i can give it to him should he come back to me. I really duwan the day to come whereby i`ll hafta keep all the toys he gave me aside and delete all our memories. I know that i have changed everything in my friendster, but i really hope that one fine day, i`ll be able to change my status back to married and upload all our photos again. Hais, baby why cant you just see how much i love you?

Marcus,
I`m sorry to tell you that no matter how cruel you treat me, how heartless you seem to be, i`ll still love you all the same. I know that you still love me somehow and i hope you`ll see that one day, something is missing in your life and thats me. I really wonder if you`re having fun now or are you also feeling a tinge of heartache ? I really dont mind how many times you are gonna hurt me, how many times you`ve hurt me or how badly you treat me. All i know is that i want you back.. i really need you so much. Without you, im practically lifeless and my life is going about in circles. I go to school in the morning, come home, nap,watch tv, sleep and this routine will continue again the next day. Somehow, i know its impossible but yet, i keep wishing that you`ll call me on valentine`s day and ask me back to your side. I know how you might be thinking that im so silly, so stubborn to wait for you, but i dont care because all i really need now is your love, care and concerns. No amount of persuading will make me forget you bcos i am really head over heels in love with you. I might have called you a lousy bf and all when we were tgt, but you were one of the sweetest thing that have ever happened to me. Hais.. I love you so much boy, when will you come back to me....?


我多希望你希望你回心转意,
因为我将会把你珍惜.
还有什么话要说
还有多少泪要流
难道你不知道我对你的爱
还有什么话要说
还有多少泪要流
有一天我会让你回心转意~~

如果一切可以再重来,
我将用生命去珍惜他,
如果一切可以再重来,
我将用生命去等待.
我将忘掉那昨天的昨天,用心去爱你直到永远

Sammie Loves Marcus